Is Unidentified Perfectionism Holding You Back?
Ever thought to yourself, “There’s no way I’m a perfectionist - I’m failing at everything!” If so, you may be confusing perfection-ISM with perfection. While perfectionism often drives one to go above and beyond what’s expected, nothing about it guarantees success. In fact, it can have the opposite effect. Sometimes, the perfectionist’s fear of being sub-par can become overwhelming to the point of paralysis. Sometimes, they don’t succeed because they’re too afraid to even take the shot.
What Happens When the Critic Wins?
You’ve probably heard that perfectionists are their own worst critics. They’re constantly fighting back against that little voice in their head that says nothing’s ever good enough, no one will like this, it’s not going to work. Despite the barrage of pressure and negativity, many perfectionists are still able to work hard and succeed at whatever they set their mind to. But what about the ones who are letting that little critic talk them out of it?
What about the perfectionist who never shows their novel to another living soul because they keep wadding up the newest “first” draft and chucking it in the trash? What about the one who never writes the first word because they don’t believe they’d ever write anything worth the paper it’s printed on? What about the one who stops pursuing a passion because, no matter how hard they work, no matter how many hours they spend practicing, they just can’t seem to make first chair or break that record or memorize those dance steps?
The Hidden Perfectionist
The mark of a true perfectionist isn’t perfection, it’s an inability to accept anything short of perfection. And since perfection is an unrealistic and unattainable goal, trying can feel pointless. On the outside, this person giving in to their inner critic may look like an underachiever or even a quitter. But the truth is that, inside, they are a perfectionist who’s been giving too much credence to that little voice, saying, “If you can’t do it perfectly, better not do it at all.”
Every perfectionist knows what it’s like to beat themselves up, hyper focusing on the tiniest flaws while downplaying any success. However, some perfectionists are letting their inner critic keep them from sharing their art with others or going for that promotion or asking that special someone out on a date.
Ready to Stop Letting Perfectionism Hold You Back?
If we let it, perfectionism can steal our joy. It can slam a door in our face before we even catch a glimpse of what’s on the other side. I’m Ashley Pichardo, a licensed mental health counselor. If you’re tired of feeling frozen by your perfectionism, I’m here to help. When you’re ready to find out how, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
