Coping with Loneliness During the Holidays

The Struggle Is Real

Whether it’s the increased and prolonged isolation from nearly two years of pandemic life, our overly hectic schedules, our chronic substitution of real relationships with social media, or living far away from family, let’s face it: loneliness is a very real struggle for many people. And, if we’re being honest, the hap-happiest season of all can do more to aggravate the problem than to alleviate it. 

Tips for Managing Loneliness During the Holidays 

Here are some practical and proven tips for managing loneliness during the holidays:

Don’t pretend. You’re lonely. It’s okay. You’re not the only one. Admit it. Own it. Voice it. Embrace it. Pretending loneliness isn’t real only gives it more power.

Spend time with real people. Seems obvious, no? But when you’re really feeling down, it can feel like the last thing you want to do. Push yourself to get out there and spend time with real people, strangers and friends alike. Have conversations. Share. Listen. Let yourself be reminded of the world outside of your own skin. 

Grieve those you miss. Whether a loved one has passed away, moved away, or just won’t be able to make it to this year’s White Elephant gift exchange, you’re allowed to be sad. Make time to acknowledge and observe these feelings. Find creative ways to remember those you wish were here with you, like making a special tree ornament in memoriam or telling the stories of your favorite Christmases spent together.

Practice gratefulness. It’s important to remind ourselves of all the blessings in our lives. This advice is often repeated, but rightly so. Remembering and naming all we have to be grateful for does wonders for our mood and outlook.

Traditions. Holiday traditions, both new and old, can be a meaningful way of connecting ourselves to our past and those who came before us. Meaningful traditions can help raise our awareness of the fact that, regardless of what our emotions tell us, we are not alone.

Reflection. It might seem counterintuitive, but if you're feeling lonely, it could be helpful to spend some time alone. However, it matters what you do with this time. Acknowledge your feelings. Sit with them. Listen to them. What’s causing them? What are they trying to tell you? Try journaling or some other reflective exercise to help you make the most of this time.

Get some exercise. Go for a walk. Join a fitness class. But get out of the house and get your body moving. It’ll release tension and chemicals that help improve mood.

Help someone. Bring flowers to a neighbor. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Acts of selfless generosity can both take your focus off your own loneliness and provide meaningful interactions with other human beings. Win, win.

Adjust your expectations. Your life isn’t a Hallmark movie. Don’t expect it to look or feel like one. You’ll just be disappointed when it doesn’t.

Don’t believe the advertisers. Speaking of, don’t listen to those voices telling you everyone is supposed to be full of joy and wonder all month long. They’re more interested in selling you something you don’t need than improving your mental and emotional wellbeing.

Make a plan. If you’re already feeling extremely lonely or have experienced increased loneliness during past holiday seasons, make a plan to help soften the blow. For instance, if you know advertisements and holiday movies tend to make you discontent with your own life, set strict time limits for yourself regarding television and social media.

Need Someone to Talk to?

Here’s one final tip: talk with a therapist. No, really. It can help. I’m Ashley Pichardo, a licensed mental health counselor, and I’m here to help. When you’re ready, please don’t hesitate to reach out.