An Important Message for Hard-Working, High-Achieving Women
You’ve got mad goals and you go for them. When you’re given expectations, you exceed them. Your career is on track and your personal life is…nonexistent.
Sound familiar? You might be one of many women who, after spending a few years in the hamster wheel of successfully conquering work life, look around and think, “Wait. Is this really what I want?”
Well, is it?
When Your #GOALS Change
It’s no secret that we are all massively impacted by the cultural norms and messaging around us. Media, advertisements, parental subtleties or not-so-subtleties, communities of origin, and stereotypes of all kinds shape our self-expectations. These factors, along with your reactions to them, have formed the doors and decisions that have brought you here. So sorry to disappoint, but no, you did not independently #girlboss your way into those work goals. Not entirely, anyway. You had some major help along the way and some major struggles.
The question is: When you step off the hamster wheel, do you like what you see? Is this what you really, really want?
For many, getting honest with themselves leads them to a startling discovery: no, this is not what I want. At least, it’s not everything I want. For a high achieving woman, it can be especially hard to admit that the life for which you’ve sacrificed so much just isn’t what you’d hoped it’d be.
How To Tell What You Really, Really Want
If crushing your work goals turns out not to be the fountain of bliss you expected, that’s okay. You’re a person just like everyone else, with emotions and needs and limitations. And as part of this human race, maybe you’d like to cultivate deeper friendships. Maybe you’d like to find a significant other (gasp!). Maybe you just want to make space for hobbies or exercise or a host of other meaningful but nonpaying activities.
But first, you must discover what you actually and truly want in your one, precious lifetime. Not what someone has told you to want. If you find yourself not liking what you see but not knowing what to replace it with, try these suggestions:
Reflect on your childhood. What did you play? What brought you joy? Can you bring these into your present?
Bring awareness to your daydreams. What do you fantasize? What do you yearn for, even subconsciously? How can you work to make these a reality?
Cut ruthlessly. If something is toxic or simply unwanted, Cut. It. Out. See what dreams or practices rise to the surface in the space left behind.
Need Help Getting Off the Wheel and into the Life You Want?
You just have this one life to live, and you’re worth living it well. Need help getting these changes kick started? I’m Ashley Pichardo, a licensed mental health counselor, and I’m here to help. When you’re ready, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
