A Letter of Compassion for the Worthy, Lovable Person You Are
As a society, we’re hard on ourselves (and on each other). We expect “perfection,” which seems to be some nebulous, unobtainable quality that other people are able to define and obtain easily, but it’s always just out of our reach. Perfection is frustrating. It makes us feel less valuable, less worthy, and less lovable, but why does some self-imposed (or societally imposed) definition of perfection get to decide our value? It doesn’t! We are intrinsically valuable, worthy, and lovable. The ability to recognize our own intrinsic worth and that of others is called compassion. In this blog, we’re going to talk about the importance and value of developing compassion for ourselves and one simple activity you can do to start building that compassion.
You Were Born with the Desire to Love & Be Loved
Every person, even the worst person you’ve ever met, was born with an innate desire to give and receive love and acceptance. Our lives shape us, and sometimes, those shapes are pointy, and they can hurt us and those around us. That doesn’t mean we have stopped wanting or deserving love. It just means we need to remember that we deserve love that doesn’t rely on us looking a certain way, behaving as someone else expects, or providing anything in return. That starts when we can embrace and accept all of who we are, even those pointy parts and rough edges.
True Love Starts with Self-Acceptance
That’s why true love always begins with self-acceptance and self-compassion. When we take the time to get to know ourselves and celebrate our own value, we can more easily accept love from others. If you don’t recognize your own innate worthiness to be loved, why would you expect anyone else to see you as worthy? This can be easier said than done, but one way to begin developing self-acceptance is to make space to celebrate every aspect of who we are. The things we love, the things we want to change, and the things we despise within ourselves. They are all part of our worthy, lovable, complicated being, and all of these pieces of ourselves deserve to be loved and accepted.
Write Yourself a Love Letter
One way to develop greater compassion and self-acceptance is to write yourself a love letter. Sure, it sounds corny, but it can also be helpful. Do you ever imagine finding a perfect person who will love and accept you for everything that you are? Do you imagine the types of things they would tell you? Things like how much they love all the imperfections you worry make you ugly or unlovable. That your little quirks, the ones that drive other people crazy, are what they like most about you. Most importantly, that you are worthy of and deserve deep and unconditional love. Maybe it’s time to stop waiting for someone else to tell you these things that you need to hear. I challenge you to take some time and write a love letter to yourself. Imagine the ideal partner who loves you the way you deserve to be loved is writing this letter. Tell yourself all the things you deserve to hear. Then, read this letter to yourself every day. At first, you may feel uncomfortable or silly, but the goal is to keep repeating all the ways that you are loved and valued until it feels true and authentic.
Need Help Drafting Your Love Letter?
If you’re struggling to draft this love letter for yourself, let’s talk about it. I’m Ashley Pichardo, a licensed mental health counselor. I work with people every day who are learning to love themselves and develop their sense of self-acceptance. If you’re interested in learning more, I hope you’ll reach out to me soon. I look forward to hearing from you.
