Is Imposter Syndrome Holding You Back?
Inside, people with imposter syndrome feel, well, like imposters, but from the outside, others often see them as high achievers. They appear successful because their fear of being found out keeps them constantly striving to do more and do better. Eventually, people struggling with imposter syndrome will hit a wall. Their drive to conceal their perceived ineptitude fails to push them forward, and they start to feel stuck. Instead of continuing to achieve higher levels of success, they stop trying. They leave decisions up to others, they don’t go up for promotions, and they stop learning new skills. “You miss 100% of the pitches you don’t swing at,” becomes a hopeful mantra to them. When there’s no pressure, there’s nothing to prove. If this sounds familiar, it may be time to talk to someone about overcoming your imposter syndrome. In this blog, we talk about the common underlying cause of imposter syndrome. We’ll also review some tips to help you stop feeling frozen by imposter syndrome and negative self-talk. If you ever want to learn more about how therapy can help, don’t hesitate to reach out.
Why Do I have Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter syndrome, in almost all cases, stems from a fear of failure, but this fear impacts people differently. Consider if you’ve ever said something like this to yourself:
I didn’t earn my place here, and I’m scared everyone sees it.
If I’m not able to do this, the whole world will know that I wasn’t good enough.
If I keep avoiding my annual review with my boss, I’ll never know how bad I actually am at my job.
I’m going to have all of my coworkers help me with this task. Then, if it’s not right, the blame isn’t all mine.
I’ll let others make decisions, so I don’t make the wrong one.
How Can I Stop Feeling Like an Imposter?
I won’t sugar coat it. Imposter syndrome is a lifelong struggle for a lot of people. You may have it under control for a while. Then, imposter syndrome comes back to haunt you years down the road, or you may finally feel like you’re confident and earned your place at work. Then, you start feeling like an imposter at home. Changing the way you perceive yourself and your place in the world is hard as hell. If you choose to work with a therapist, they will help you find ways to think about situations from another perspective. Some of the ways that therapy helps people with imposter syndrome start to flip the script on their negative self-talk include:
Affirm yourself – You are navigating systems and structures that make you feel like you are not good enough. In addition, we all tell ourselves stories about who we are. Let’s step away from the complex narrative you have going about who you are and how everyone can see you’re a fraud. Look around you. You deserve to take up space.
Stop comparing yourself to others – many people develop imposter syndrome because they get stuck in thoughts about how they are not as good as someone else. Stop comparing yourself to other people. You are unique and bring your own set of experience and values. Did you do your best? Did you do better today than yesterday? Are you doing everything you can to improve? That is enough. You are enough.
Celebrate yourself – spend some time reviewing all of your accomplishments. We don’t do this enough. We’re working to develop badass syndrome here. What are some great things you’ve done in your life?
Ask for feedback – you may feel so worried about what others think of you that asking your boss or other people in your life for feedback is terrifying, but if you ask someone how you’re doing, you’ll probably hear that you’re doing fine or great or phenomenal. Even if you hear some criticism, that doesn’t validate that you’re an imposter!
Will Therapy Help?
I recognize my opinion is a little biased, but I absolutely believe that therapy can help you tell your imposter syndrome who’s boss. If you don’t feel like your most authentic self in any part of your life, every part of your life can suffer. I’m Ashley Pichardo, a licensed mental health counselor, and I frequently work with people who are feeling like imposters. When people struggling with imposter syndrome schedule therapy sessions with me, I help them increase self-awareness, celebrate their successes, and allow grace for those moments where they didn’t hit the mark. It’s not always easy, but you deserve to feel confident and whole. So, when you’re ready, let’s talk about it.
