Gifts to Support Your Mother’s Mental Health
Mother’s Day usually means a card, a box of chocolates, and maybe some flowers for mom, and trust me, she appreciates it. What if we make Mother’s Day about supporting mom’s health and wellness instead? Every mother I know would say the same thing about self-care, “I don’t have time.” With the stress that moms are under every day, it’s essential that they make time for self-care. On Mother’s Day and all year long kids and co-parents can help moms make more time for self-care. In this blog, we’ll walk through some tips for co-parents and kids to help mom focus on self-care and tips for those moms who need to give themselves permission to make time for their needs and wants as well as those of their loved ones.
Tips to Focus Mother’s Day on Self-Care – For Loved Ones
Moms can have a tough time asking for what they want and need, even at Mother’s Day. It can be tempting to stick with the same bouquet of flowers or other traditional gift, but this year, more than any other year, moms have been doing a lot. Between COVID, at-home classrooms, and everyone stuck in the house for the past two years and challenging political and cultural landscapes, moms have spent the last few years under a lot of pressure. Maybe this year you should give gifts focused on encouraging mom to make more time for herself. Below, I’ve included some quick and easy ways you can celebrate mom and show your appreciation for everything she does:
Give her the day off – send mom to the movies with friends, or better yet, give mom a day at home by herself (do all the chores she’ll be tempted to do before you leave – yes the laundry too). Let her take a nap, soak in the bath, or just snuggle up with her favorite snacks and good movie.
Get her a massage – spa and at-home massages are a surprisingly affordable treat that mom will benefit from for weeks to come. They’re relaxing, and massages relieve physical tension and aches.
Buy her a journal (and give her time to use it) – journaling is a great daily practice that can help moms find new ways to express themselves, work through big emotions, and generally process their complex thoughts and feelings. Most importantly, journaling gives moms a few minutes a day to just focus on themselves.
Take dinner off her to-do list – order a meal-kit subscription or volunteer to cook dinner a few times a week (and follow through – and clean up after – and do the grocery shopping before).
Give the gift of free time – you see all the things mom does for you on a daily and weekly basis, but she doesn’t have to do all those things on her own. Do your own laundry. Do the dishes. Help get all those little daily tasks done, so mom will have a little more free time.
Tips to Make Time for Self-Care on Mother’s Day – For Mom
First and foremost, you have permission – on Mother’s Day and year-round – to take care of yourself. In fact, you need to. If you don’t make time to care for yourself, you won’t have the strength and ability to care for your family. If having Mother’s Day as an excuse to pamper yourself is what it takes, great. Enjoy it! However, the true goal should be to make more time for self-care every day because you need it, and you deserve it. Here are some tips to help you find greater joy and make time for self-care:
Don’t feel guilty – many moms feel guilty if they do something for themselves. They feel like that time or money or effort could have been devoted to their family. You deserve to be taken care of too, so enjoy moments of relaxation or indulgence. Don’t lose the joy of the experience by feeling guilty that you’re focusing on yourself for a change.
Don’t feel selfish – guilt and the perception of selfishness are often closely connected. It’s not selfish to make time to care for yourself, rest, or indulge in a favorite pastime. You need these breaks to stay healthy, happy, and sane. Wipe the phrase “I don’t deserve this.” Out of your vocabulary.
Do enjoy the benefits of self-care – when you let go of feelings of guilt and stop labeling yourself as selfish for taking care of yourself, you can finally and truly enjoy the many benefits of self-care, including improving your mood, energy, and mental and physical health. People who practice self-care tend to have greater levels of self-compassion and self-acceptance as well as higher levels of resilience, which makes them better able to provide care for their loved ones.
Therapy Can Help
If you struggle to prioritize self-care or find yourself feeling constantly drained by the wants and needs of your family, therapy may be a good opportunity to prioritize your own needs and carve out time to practice self-acceptance and self-care. I’m Ashley Pichardo, a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in New York. If you’re interested in working together to grow a deeper sense of self-worth, I’m here to support your journey. Simply take a few minutes to complete my online therapy session request form.
